Wednesday, July 22, 2009




Wednesday, January 21, 2009

1 Thessalonians 2

3) For our exhortation did not come from error or uncleanness, nor was it in deceit. 4) But as we have been approved by God to be entrusted with the gospel, even so we speak, not as pleasing men, but God who tests our hearts.

5) Nor did we seek glory from men, either from you or from others, when we might have made demands as apostles of Christ. 7)But we were gentle among you, just as a nursing mother cherishes her own children. 8) So, affectionately longing for you, we were well pleased to impart to you not only the gospel of God, but also our own lives, because you had become dear to us.
9) For you remember, brethren, our labor and toil; for laboring night and day, that we might not be a burden to any of you, we preached to you the gospel of God.
10 ) You are witnesses, and God also, how devoutly and justly and blamelessly we behaved ourselves among you who believe; 11) as you know how we exhorted, and comforted, and charged every one of you, as a father does his own children,
12) that you would walk worthy of God who calls you into His own kingdom and glory.

There is so much here I don't even know where to start. I want this to be my testimony in ministry. I want this to by my testimony at home, and among my peers. I ask for an End Vision for these fleeting eyes, and this insatiable heart.

Friday, January 2, 2009

What we have is not equal to what we are.

My Friend, what are we afraid to lose that we would hold after this breath of life expires and the silver cord is severed, And this dirt laid/made flesh retires? Can it be preserved, This stuff we've made our lives?
Can we hold it in our hands before Him, The giver of all things? Will it match the value of crimson royalty? Could it be counted a worthy exchange?

And when He holds out His hands before us…..the ones that bear our names, what then, what then? The spoil of our life will be as ashes in the wind. Dear Friend, count the cost……what is it to gain this kindling wood world if our souls are to be lost? Let's mark ourselves of Him, And store our treasures in Heaven, And shake the ashes from our feet, and the dust from this earth, but NOT IN RETREAT. To lay hold day and night the promises of OUR King. To contend with earnest and sobriety. My lamp burning with abandon do not let me be caught sleeping!!!! Let my eyes be kept watching with fear and trembling.

I will not be swept away with the "goodness" of humanity. With The Oprahs, The Bonos, and The Sean Hannitys. My allegiance is Christ THE ONLY ONE WORTHY. To Know Him, to Agree with Him, to Obey Him, to Love Him, to Burn for Him, to Die for Him, is but to Live in Him. I rid myself of that which is titled Emerging. For the ancient paths of Wilderness Seeking from a broken heart Yearning.....OH THAT I MIGHT KNOW HIM!!! OH THAT I MIGHT KNOW HIM. This God Man, the First Born From the Dead. The Son of the Most High God!! JESUS! JESUS! JESUS! The soon and coming King! This Mystery of mysteries. Who exists outside of time and measure, and yet gives season to His return. All for our sakes He makes time and turn. To call upon His name and be saved. From the splendor and emptiness of this debtor's grave. This world that man made.

Prepare the way Oh heart of Mine!! Stop spending your money, your treasures, on prostitutes and lesser things. Stop eating the temporary to fill this God-hole inside of me. I am a black hole that can only be satisfied with the Intimacy of eternity, with abiding In the Secret Place. I will eat His flesh and drink His blood. The two shall become one flesh. I in Him and Him in Me. His words are Spirit and they are Truth. His words are the essence of eternity.

Only in Christ Jesus is there life and Life abundantly.

Oh God, send your Son to come quickly.

Oh Timothy, Make yourself ready.

Come quickly Lord Jesus, COME!

Sunday, December 21, 2008

Serpents and Doves Part II

"Wise as Serpents"
Gen 3:1:
Now the serpent was more cunning than any beast of the field that the LORD God had made. All throughout scripture and history the serpent is a symbol of wickedness and trickery. No doubt a reputation gained from what immediately transpires in the verses following the above notation.

I have spent a lot of time observing snakes in their natural environment, which curiously enough is mostly dense, open field. I'm currently on a mission to catch a "smooth grass snake" in the northern Illinois region. They are a rarity this far north, but they are a beautiful snake with a brilliant jade to emerald green coloration. Very hard to spot in any type of grass. Snakes are masters at observation, waiting, and ambushing - all attributes shared by our enemy, Satan.
Pound for pound, snakes are masters of the hunt, and very, very, clever.

If we are wise as serpents, we are as smart as our enemy. If you are as smart as your enemy, you know all of his tactics; you know his nature and it is impossible for him to surprise you or catch you unaware. It is impossible for him to use you. John 14:30-31 Jesus says this "I will no longer talk much with you, for the ruler of this world is coming, and he has nothing in me" 31) But that the world may know that I love the Father, and as the Father gave me commandment, so I do . Arise, let us go from here.

Satan had no sway over the actions or mortality of Christ. Christ reigned by subjection to the Father.To be as wise as your enemy but reckoned as a sacrifice to God. After all, obedience is better than sacrifice. You now become the ultimate weapon. You become a dwelling place for the living God, called according to His purposes. The bible tells us not to ignorant of the enemies devices.And you become the image-bearer of what every person needs and wants: Jesus Christ.To take up our cross is to take up arms against the work of Satan in our lives and others. Christ in us is the hope of glory.
God, help me to be as wise as serpents and as harmless as doves.

Tuesday, November 25, 2008

Serpents and Doves.

So how do I defeat my self serving motives?

The obvious answers here are:

Be like Jesus

Live the Word of God.

Cool, how's that going for you?

I'll tell how I'm fighting for those things.

Mathew 10:16 is an interesting and curious verse.

It reads like this in the new king James: (Jesus is talking to his disciples.)

16) "Behold, I send you out as sheep in the midst of wolves. Therefore be wise as serpents and harmless as doves."

Without going into the behavioral comparisons to sheep and wolves/predator and prey, I really want to concentrate on the last half of the verse:

"There fore be as wise as Serpents and harmless as doves."

I started to meditate on this verse after several different people mentioned it to me over a period of about two weeks. I just kept hearing this verse.

In Leviticus 12:8 the scriptures tell us what a new mother should bring before the Lord as a sin offering and atonement sacrifice for those who are unable to bring a Lamb to the alter. It is, in fact, two turtle doves or two young pigeons.

In regards to us in the world, God calls us to be as harmless as doves. In this reference I believe Jesus was speaking of the lowliest most affordable offering and sacrifice. Even the poorest of souls could afford the dove offering.

The interesting thing about an object of sacrifice is that it's purpose is already decided. In many cases, even before it's birth. It simply is what it is. It is a one time offering, yet we are called, through Christ, to be more. Paul said that we are to be a living sacrifice. A perpetual sacrifice, if you will; a continual present tense with present purpose. Paul also said, "I die daily."

An object of sacrifice is an object of harmless, humble existence towards the benefit of others. Its power is in its fulfilled purpose. It neither needs to fight for its preservation nor defend the life it has.

Thursday, October 16, 2008


I went home miffed tonight. Yes "miffed."

miff |mif|
verb [ trans. ] (usu. be miffed) informal
annoy : she was slightly miffed at not being invited.
noun archaic
a petty quarrel or fit of pique.
ORIGIN early 17th cent.: perhaps imitative; compare with early modern German muff, an exclamation of disgust.

That's hilarious. I totally didn't think that was a real word, let alone a proper context for it.
I usually get miffed right after I've become a reactionary Jerk.

How do I become a reactionary jerk? What benefit is it to me? None. It's a dirty trick I play on myself that avails nothing but vain mutterings for the rest of the evening. Sometimes even into the next day. I have noticed that I start to become reactionary when I am not in the WORD, or actively contending to spend time with Jesus and/or be as He is.

A similar thing happened last weekend: I ended up miffed again. This time I was miffed at myself, so I went for a walk to find the root of this thing because really I hate myself when I'm like that.

I started to do the thing where I beat myself up in some weird, self-righteous, self-punishment thing. I don't think that's what Paul meant when he said, "beat my body into subjection."

Anyhow, after the pity party I just started quoting scripture over me. Things like, "I must decrease and He must increase," "In these three abide: Faith, Hope, and Love. The greatest of which is love," and lastly, "Be still and know that I AM God." So I waited, and I was still, and I fought my thoughts to be still towards the Lord.

The Holy Spirit then asked me a question. He said, "What is your (my) motivation for helping or ministering to these people?"

The question was weird, and I didn't know how to answer it. Then He asked why I stop ministering and serving and raising up people. That really hit me hard, and got me thinking.

My conclusion was an ugly one.

I have a great gift to see potential in people, to pick out a person's strengths. I can be very good at encouraging. There is nothing wrong with nurturing some one's gifts or potential, the issue is motivation.

What often happens to me is that the people I'm ministering to/mentoring mess up, or step out my plan for them. So I get upset for a little while. Then I get over it, only I never treat the person the same. I quit a little part of them. Not all of them. Not right away. Then if they change my plans for them ...

Let's take a second to analyze my plans for them first. It's ugly too, folks. Sorry.

I believe I manipulate people's potentials in God so they can eventually fulfill my own plans and agendas for things I am too chicken to step out and do before God alone. I'm cultivating potential in people with the hopes that it will potentially serve me. Not all of me, just what ever I'm lacking.


So if said persons step out of that plan or grooming enough, I eventually quit them all together.

How did I come to this conclusion? I base it on the way I treat people that I don't think have much potential. Now, everybody has potential; I know this. I know the verse in Jeremiah that speaks of God's plans for us. However, not everyone has potential towards me.

You can say it: that's just ugly.

So the Lord continued to speak to me and said, "Christ in you is the hope of glory." Then, Holy Spirit breathed back into me the person of Jesus and his life towards Judas Iscariot.

Jesus knew well before Judas kissed Him to a tree that Judas was building hatred and resentment towards him, that he was going to sell Him out. And yet Jesus never changed the position of His heart towards Judas. He still saw Judas the way He had intended Judas to be. He still went to the cross for Judas. He still laid down his life for a man that did not want His life. He never stopped working towards Judas' full potential.

He never stops working towards my potential. He is the only one who can fulfill my potential, my life in Him. It's Christ in me that is the hope of glory. It's Christ.

Hebrews 7:9-12-

But, beloved, we are confident of better things concerning you, yes, things that accompany salvation, though we speak in this manner. 10) For God is not unjust to forget your work and labor of love which you have shown towards His name, in that you have ministered to the saints, and do minister. 11) And we desire that each one of you show the same diligence to the full assurance of hope until the end, 12)that you do not become sluggish, but imitate those who through faith and patience inherit the promises.
I'm not miffed anymore. Now it's just a matter of putting to death those things, and putting on Christ.

Sunday, May 11, 2008

Things I'm thinking about

Things look to be slowing down enough for me to put some things down in hardcopy and digital copy. I'm in the process of tackling two subjects that have been on my mind for a few years now.

The nature of Satan, and self indoctrination. Mainly through Movies. We've all heard the stories about subliminal messages, and back-masking on music albums. I believe that there is a much more sublte way the enemy works, and we welcome it by convincing ourselves that it's a morally affirming harmless escape. Be careful little ears what you hear, be careful little eyes what you see. I remember singing those words in my sunday school class growing up.
I used to think it was a silly conservative goody goody song. It was, but it's true.

I am very selective about what I allow my self to see, and feel when it's under the pretense of entertainment. Or mindlessly escaping my said reality into the world of imagination on the big screen. In my past, I would watch anything I wanted. The condition of my heart became a fragile mirror of what I had filled it with. Thanks be to God for the restoration that is in Christ. It has taken me years to deprogram.
I'm certain I still am. I have noticed a stark contrast in the level of faith and the ability to believe God at His word, in people who do not have such easy access to media. Or whom do not seek that type of entertainment.

I have begin to notice a popular trend in movies geared towards the youth. I used to only see it in adult orientated films with more mature themes. While the popular theme of children's media was usually "You have the power to be what ever you want so long as you believe in yourself enough" A seemingly noble battle cry against low self esteem, and the disadvantaged.

I have noticed a far more dangerous and deceptive theme in almost every movie geared towards the youth in recent media. An indoctrination that coencides with this neo science and reason vs the God. Anything being associated with Religion or tradition being confronted as ancient lunacy. It's a new age of enlightenment and it's geared at this last generation.

More to come.